Conkering Heroes
It’s that time of year when men and women of a certain age slip into a special nostalgia. Damp leaves, woodsmoke, bright, sharp days, and conkers.
It were grim where I was brung up but we were happy. Finding a horse-chestnut tree in my neck of the woods was, however, a challenge. Every kid for streets knew where it was and plundered it. My mates (note my use of mates rather ther than friends to demonstrate just how tough it was) and I would forage and hurl sticks into the branches bringing down useless unripe sport.
Now in my nearby park beautiful specimens lie neglected on the freshly mown grass. Dozens and dozens. I want to gather them all greedily and… there’s the rub… and what?
I’m told that conkers is still played. But some schools have banned it for health and safety reasons. Surely with a helmet, goggles and stout gloves it would be OK? The world championships in Northamptonshire are approaching. The temptation to make a weekend of it is acute. Is protective gear worn there? Who places the insurance? Is there a Lloyd’s syndicate which specialises in conkers? Who will edit and proofread the programmes and results literature? Is there a freelance opportunity for a conker-loving proofreader?
Proofreading and Copy-editing Note
1. Conker, conquer or concur? Traps for the unwary spell-checker.
2. Do you play conkers or Conkers? Be consistent.
3. Horse-chestnut or horse chestnut? Don’t fret too much about hyphens, but they should be consistent.
4. Health and safety is vital for editors and proofreaders. Whenever referring to conkers you must pepper the page with strict warnings about the dangers of the game. Also emphasise that horse chestnuts are not sweet chestnuts and must not be eaten. They are poisonous. In folklore horses ate them and were cured of chest trouble. Not sure about that; perhaps their chests improved before renal failure from eating the conkers set in. (OK, a little tongue in cheek about the dangers, perhaps. But publishers do expect copy-editors to be on their toes when authors overlook warnings, and raising a query may be useful.)
Queries for Author
You mention throwing sticks to dislodge conkers. Safety issue?
Should you warn against climbing trees?
Once you start on this tack there is no sane end to it. But common sense is sadly not common in either the strict or general sense!