Any Portmanteau in a Storm

Any Portmanteau in a Storm

Who doesn’t like a good portmanteau? Mushing words together is how we’ve ended up with some of the best and most entertaining words in the English language. Here, Louise from Chapter and Verse Reviews shares some new alternatives to common turns of phrase.

portmanteau

If you like: 

VEGANUARY (n)
Going vegan for January. As if it wasn’t fun enough giving up alcohol for the sake of your “health” in Dry January, you now shouldn’t even enjoy any honey (even though bees love making honey, and we should also be trying to get more bees everywhere, all the time). Veganuary offers you the opportunity to spend the month feeling superior to your carnivorous (or vegetarious) friends and relations for an entire 31 days. What more could you want? And you can still drink alcohol! As long as it’s not a whisky sour.

Why not try: 

VOGONUARY (n) 
Spend 31 days writing and sharing the worst of your poetry. The best place to start sourcing this is those emotional diaries you wrote when you were fourteen. Or, if you’re not doing Dry January, just get hammered on whatever vegan booze you can lay your hands on and smash something out. Lovely.

portmanteau

If you like:

BROMANCE (n)
For a word with ‘romance’ in it, this is the kind of thing that comes up a lot in situations where sporty boys say ‘no homo’ a lot – a bromance is kind of like the powerful homoerotic friendship that Sam and Frodo share in The Lord of the Rings, and not at all like the romance the two cowboys share in Brokeback Mountain. It’s sort of saying that if two men are close and like each other, it’s a bit like a romance, because we all still live in a weird world where men have to have extra special excuses for showing any kind of emotion.

Why not try:

SOMANCE (n) 
A much nicer portmanteau. Like a bromance, but for girls. Think Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation at the fertility doctor with Ann Perkins saying, ‘Tragically, we are both heterosexual.’

portmanteau

If you like: 

GLAMPING (n), (v) 
The act of removing all of the fun endurance-based activities we all love about camping – such as trying to cook an old can of Spaghetti Hoops over a broken Trangia with some questionable methylated spirit, or putting up a tent you borrowed from your dad that he bought from an army surplus store for the Ten Tors he did in 1973 that comes in 450 parts and takes three hours to assemble – leaving you with only a beautifully decorated yurt that is warm, dry, filled with fairy lights, and has all the facilities for you to actually enjoy yourself.

Why not try:

GLOMPING (n), (v)
Going for a glamorous yomp through the woods. Wear your best jewel-encrusted mackintosh, bring a Chilly’s Bottle full of Prosecco for your refreshment. Just go wild!

portmanteau

If you like:

STAYCATION (n)
Saving your pennies by going on holiday at home. Great if you live somewhere nice. Less so if you’re a teenager who lives at home with your parents.

Why not try:

STAYINUARY (n)
Not to blow my own trumpet, but this is my favourite portmanteau of the lot. Refuse to leave your house in January. It’s dark, it’s cold, everyone’s on a diet or has given up something fun. There’s literally no good reason to leave.

portmanteau

If you like:

MANSPLAINING (n)
Then you’re probably in the wrong.

 

By |February 18th, 2019|Categories: Latest News, Words for Proofreaders and Copy-editors|Tags: , , , , , , |Comments Off on Any Portmanteau in a Storm

About the Author:

Nick is a freelance proofreader and copy-editor who has worked for Chapterhouse for about as long as he can remember. He is the co-founder of Court Oak Tutors, and is very fond of Percy Pigs.